Mood:  not sure

looking at my reflection

i realize i dont know the girl i see

no one else senses a change

but i no longer feel like me

of course i recognize the physical

the highlighted blonde hair, brown eyes

except i also see the eyes are sad

from too many tears having been cried

the smile looks a little forced

and lets be honest, i look deprived of sleep

maybe its from thoughts of you

trying to rid myself of pain that runs deep

the truth is it wont go away

but i'll hide it beneath my reflection

 day by day i'll find my heart and soul

getting to know myself through insight and recollections.

Mood:  don't ask

i dont know why i'm shocked

by your lack of any care

cuz lets face it, even when we were together

you were hardly ever there

physically, but emotionally too

you always left me all alone

sitting quietly with tear stained cheeks

waiting for you to pick up the phone

but all along, i never mattered

not even a little...not really at all

and it hurts so fuckin bad

that i let you make me feel so small

even in the aftermath of this tragic tale

your still trying to manipulate, trying to rattle my cage

but what your not seeing is that day after day

i'm more and more over your narcissism, your rage

i'm learning again that i have value

i'm not just a piece of trash you can throw away

i know my life is turning for the better

but i sincerely doubt you'll ever be okay...

Mood:  a-ok

K...so i'm doing this website mostly for me.  I enjoy writing poetry and i used to write alot...then life got in the way. so now i'm using poetry to vent...hoping it will bring some sort of peace with everything.  God, i sound so morbid...i promise there will be some happy poems along the way. 

To explain the title of the webpage..."I write the saddest lines..."  It is a line from one of my favorite poems. Its from Pablo Neruda's "20 Love Poems and a Song of Despair"  I remember reading it like junior year in high school and i never forgot it...so here's one of my favorite poems you can read until i actually write one....lol...

"Tonight I Can Write"
By Pablo Neruda

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, "The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance."

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.